Why do men in our generation believe that they will make better fathers than husbands?
One of my long time friends (age 22) is about to have a baby and when he first told me the new, of course I was excited because that means there’s a new baby in the mix. Then of course, my super traditional self who has been ruined by fairy tales asked him when he was planning on marrying her… not IF he was going to marry but when! I did the same thing when my brother (also age 22) had his baby. I asked him if he had the ring picked out… not IF he was going to put a ring on it.
My friend, just like my brother, gave me that crazy look full of fear at the thought of marriage. They were both super excited though to become fathers and they couldn’t wait. They both spoke of how great they were going to be and how they were going to set the exact opposite example of the father awarded to them. Here I come again all conservative and “mom-like”… “Don’t you think you’re too young to be a father? How are you going to afford parenthood? Diapers are expensive! Do you have a place to live? Are really not going to propose?” … The answers they gave me are answers that I have heard before. They told me that were going to propose in the future and that they were going to make it work. Bills were always going to be there but money will be brought to the table one way or the other… uh huh. Yea.
Then the comment that made my skin crawl, “I love my baby mom. I’m going to be with her forever. She’s the only one who’s going to have my kids”. Yea, you’ll be with her forever, but you won’t put a ring on it? You’re not ready to be husband and wife, but you’re ready to mommy and daddy? What the hell is going on here. Everyone (I use this term loosely) wants to be young parents but they don’t want to be a young couple. I get it I want to wait a few years before I get hitched myself (preferable before 30 ^_^ lol) but that doesn’t mean I am more ready to become a mother and provider to a child before I become someone’s other half and wife. I’ve heard plenty of guys talk about how they want to be young father and be a better father than theirs but still. Having your own child at a young age isn’t a do-over for the crappy father life gave you. Then you know what, I might be wrong. Maybe 22 isn’t so young to be having kids. It’s open for discussion.
I was raised to believe that first came love, then marriage, and then the baby carriage. The amount of baby mothers in this world scares me half to death! What’s even more scary is this growing fear of marriage that men and now to my knowledge women are having. Ugh. Honestly, I thank Vanessa Bryant and Elin Nordegren for walking away with damn near half and further solidifying marriage fear into the young men of today. Because when they talk about why they don’t want to get married, they always bring up a broad who took half. Now whether they deserved half or not is a whole other conversation!