Every now and then we have a few days, weeks, months, maybe even years where we’re in a serious funk. Where all that can go wrong does and we’re left picking up the pieces wondering how did they even break in the first place. I’m hoping that year comes to a close for me soon. Just a year ago, I took you on a journey with me to France where I was crazy in love ready to tackle Europe and blog along the way. Then my grandmother died and all my misfortunes began to unravel… in other words, the shit hit the fan. A huge part of me died on October 18th 2011 and all I could do was pretend to be my former self, but that’s pretty hard to do when a piece of your core is missing.

This year I watched close friends have babies, get engaged, move away, and chase dreams. I watched as everyone achieved milestones in their life while the source of my happiness was demolishing in front of me. Grandma died, relationship in shambles, career at a stand still. I grew restless. Second wave of panic settled in when my relationship of 5 years ended and with it comes the politics of breakup aka NASTINESS. The devastation of it all took me 2.2 seconds to realize that I was placing my happiness and success on external forces rather than relying on myself—Mind you that was a harsh truth to accept.

People come and go. Relationships start and end. Opportunities pass you by. Nonetheless, what are you doing to make yourself happy when life doesn’t go your way? When friends become strangers? My life was rattled just over a year ago, but now that the going is tough I NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER… ALONE! Yet another journey for yours truly while I figure out how to stand on my own two feet, figure out how to make myself happy. Join me. Stick with me. We all have these growing pains and pain it is.